A Near Death Kind Of Experience

Warning : if you are of the Male persuasion you may want to skip this one...

So yesterday I was pretty sure I was gonna die. No Joke.
I won't go into all the awful details but this notion was encouraged by the fact that my *ahem* "Lady Troubles" were about 20 times worse than the usual agony in addition to the fact that I am battling some sort of stomach/head/cold THING...

(*disclaimer- I have no idea how medically accurate any of this might be... but it must be close)

It came on kinda slow in the beginning but around noon it was as if the bone marrow from my spinal column was leaking into my abs. And then a whale took up residence in my empty bones and my muscles and tendons turned into silly string, I felt so weak... and every now and again an invisible knife fish critter with spiral blades and razor fins swam around and through my insides, slicing and stabbing random bits of my gut and lady parts. And then the nausea kicked in. I had eaten a small bowl of cheerios earlier in the day but apparently they were gone by the time my body had decided to heave the contents of my stomach to the surface. Let me just say that dry heaves in the middle of the day AT HOME are worse than barfing up an entire meal consisting of pizza, nachos and cheese dip and salsa, coca cola, beer, cake, and ice cream... at 2 in the morning in a foreign country, WITHOUT your mom there to give you a glass of water and a wet washcloth for your head.... so maybe I exaggerate a bit, I am pretty sure there are zero razor fishy things inside my gut and there most certainly is not a whole whale in my bones... But I still didn't share all the gory details, Be Thankful. But if anyone can please tell me how to return the marrow to my bones please let me know?

But I am so thankful for my family... My mom, my dad, and my sisters helped me with my barf bucket and pain pills and Midol... they got me tissues when I broke down in pain filled sobs, they refilled my hot water bottle bear with freshly boiled water. They got pillows and blankets for me, water and cold washcloths.... I am so blessed.

Thank God I am feeling less wretched today... I am still on the mend but I can see a big bright light down the tunnel. And maybe even a few flowers and butterflies...